Argephontes
3/22/2002
Ok, y'all. Hotdogs. Love 'em or hate 'em, they are a part of the American experience. And for the most part, I think most people love 'em, in some shape or form. However, people are very picky about their hotdogs. When Ryan's parents and grandparents were staying with us at graduation, we had to cook 2 different batches in 2 different ways in order to please everyone. Last night, I was making beanie-weanies, which I haven't eaten in years. For some reason, it just seemed like the right thing to make. They didn't taste as good as they did when I was a kid, and it'll probably be years before I eat them again. However, it got me to thinking about the Hotdog. How you can cook them, what's good, what's not. Here's the rundown.
Your Basic Cooking Methods:
Boiled - Ok, folks. This is NASTY. The essential grossness of the hotdog cannot be denied. It's processed meat, people. The boiling process seems to only enhance this aspect, and adds nothing to the end result. I cannot stress enough how disgusting this is. Blech.
Fried - Fried hotdogs remind me of grandmothers. You have to fry it in butter. You slit the hotdog down the middle, and "butterfly" it in the pan, and voila! Rich, yummy goodness. Best served in a bun, however you like it.
Grilled - The preferred method. Nothing like a nice charred hotdog on a hot summer day. You can achieve a similar effect in the winter (or when you are by yourself and have no reason to bother firing up the grill) with the George Foreman Grill (or any off-brand imitation). The little ones are only about $15, and everyone should have one. They are SO useful.
Microwaved- Surprisingly enough, the microwaved hotdog is actually pretty damned good. It browns and swells, and tastes great. Yum.
Broiled - Also fabulous. Good in a bun, but also useful for using hotdogs in other things. If you broil for hotdogs-inna-bun, then I recommend butterflying. More yummy charred goodness that way. For other menus, slicing and broiling hotdogs is a great easy addition to mac & cheese. Suddenly a box of Kraft becomes a full meal. DO NOT COOK THIS FOR COMPANY. I intend this tip only as a quick meal solution for those of us who are poor and/or have 1 hour or less lunch breaks.
The Metal Turny Things - I have no idea what they are called. They are found only at concession stands, street vendors, and in convenience stores. They are BY FAR the best hot dogs ever. I have no idea why. The toppings you get through these venues are far better than anything you can have at home, too. Like onions on your dog? Dicing your own cannot compare to minced onion-product that has sat in its own juices in a package for eternity. Fresh food has no place on a hotdog. It defies the purpose of the dog itself.
One last thing people... Ketchup on a hotdog is one of the grossest things ever. EEEEW.
¶ 3/22/2002 02:45:00 PM
Your Basic Cooking Methods:
Boiled - Ok, folks. This is NASTY. The essential grossness of the hotdog cannot be denied. It's processed meat, people. The boiling process seems to only enhance this aspect, and adds nothing to the end result. I cannot stress enough how disgusting this is. Blech.
Fried - Fried hotdogs remind me of grandmothers. You have to fry it in butter. You slit the hotdog down the middle, and "butterfly" it in the pan, and voila! Rich, yummy goodness. Best served in a bun, however you like it.
Grilled - The preferred method. Nothing like a nice charred hotdog on a hot summer day. You can achieve a similar effect in the winter (or when you are by yourself and have no reason to bother firing up the grill) with the George Foreman Grill (or any off-brand imitation). The little ones are only about $15, and everyone should have one. They are SO useful.
Microwaved- Surprisingly enough, the microwaved hotdog is actually pretty damned good. It browns and swells, and tastes great. Yum.
Broiled - Also fabulous. Good in a bun, but also useful for using hotdogs in other things. If you broil for hotdogs-inna-bun, then I recommend butterflying. More yummy charred goodness that way. For other menus, slicing and broiling hotdogs is a great easy addition to mac & cheese. Suddenly a box of Kraft becomes a full meal. DO NOT COOK THIS FOR COMPANY. I intend this tip only as a quick meal solution for those of us who are poor and/or have 1 hour or less lunch breaks.
The Metal Turny Things - I have no idea what they are called. They are found only at concession stands, street vendors, and in convenience stores. They are BY FAR the best hot dogs ever. I have no idea why. The toppings you get through these venues are far better than anything you can have at home, too. Like onions on your dog? Dicing your own cannot compare to minced onion-product that has sat in its own juices in a package for eternity. Fresh food has no place on a hotdog. It defies the purpose of the dog itself.
One last thing people... Ketchup on a hotdog is one of the grossest things ever. EEEEW.
¶ 3/22/2002 02:45:00 PM
Well, I was gonna blog about hotdogs, because I was thinking about them. But Alicia wants me to tag along to the union with her to get some breakfast. She went to a cocktail party last night, and I think she has post-drinking/got-up-too-early protein and carbs withdrawal. Whenever I get up after a night of getting jiggy with the bottle, I have massive sausage egg & cheese biscuit cravings.
¶ 3/22/2002 09:49:00 AM
3/21/2002
Ok, nevermind. The site is seriously out of date, and I don't mean in a Corey-Haim-hasn't-had-career-in-a-long-time sort of way. It hasn't been updated in forever, and some of the links don't work. Oh, well.
¶ 3/21/2002 06:02:00 PM
I admit it. Yes, I have a affinity for Corey & Corey movies. Even movies that only have one Corey. Ryan and I have ambitions to own every Corey movie ever someday (which is not so easy as you might think. Although we've found a couple by digging in the super-cheap bins in Blockbuster-- the movies NO ONE wants).
I found a fab Corey Haim fan site. And I'm utterly and completely delighted about it. ¶ 3/21/2002 05:58:00 PM
I found a fab Corey Haim fan site. And I'm utterly and completely delighted about it. ¶ 3/21/2002 05:58:00 PM
I've spent quite a bit of time noting the intricacies of "how computer programs go," for the sole purpose of being able to then figure out how to outsmart them in order to make them do what I want (think Microsoft Word here). I do understand that this is not an expertise of the masses. Not really even an expertise of mine- I don't mean I can program or anything. I simply mean that I have a basic understanding of how linear the "thinking" a computer program can do is, and I am able to see how command "x" makes action "a" come to pass. Keep this in mind.
The University is in the process of putting all its data into a new program. It's a great thing, really. All departments, from Accounting and Human Resources to the academic departments, etc., will be using the same program, which interconnects all data in every way possible. Lately, we've been working on the academic end of things. Curriculum and whatnot. The bare bones have been entered. There is a very set structure based on modules in different levels that we entered. Its really simple. I will allow that it's simple to me because it was presented in the context of how it was going to be entered. However, apparently it is NOT simple to someone who's been handed a print-out of absolutely everything that has been entered.
The print-outs were divided amongst several people with an intimate knowledge of the curriculum. So intimate, in fact, that the edits they made to the proofs were redundant and had information that, the way the structure of the new system is set up, will be entirely impossible to manipulate. Furthermore, by adding it where they did, it could be entered as something else entirely and cause endless issues for us later after it caused students to be unable to register for any courses at all. (Neat trick, that). Oh, and did I mention no one thought to make copies of the proofs? For the past two hours, I've used nearly an entire white-out pen going through and fixing these mistakes.
"So what is she getting at with all of this?" asks the reader impatiently. Well, Context. And Bureaucracies. I can bitch all I want (which I did plenty of), but it's not the fault of the people who edited the proofs. Someone handed them a set, and asked that they check it against the catalog. They didn't say, "By the way, notice how we've got it structured. It's going to be a bit different." Do you know why they didn't say that? Because they probably didn't know, either. I probably could have figured it out myself, even if I hadn't been one of the people to enter it in the first place. At least most of it. But again, being able to understand how entering the data in this way as opposed to any other will make the program go is not something that I expect from others. So, why is it that the people responsible for this VERY important information don't have a clue as to what they're actually doing or how it works? This is the problem with any sort of bureaucracy. Everyone is consistently doing unecessary work in order to make up for work that was done poorly the first (second, third...) time. If I could add up the amount of time I spend at my job correcting things that either I messed up because I wasn't given enough information to do it properly (or to even know that I wasn't doing it properly) or that others have flubbed up, it would be the majority of the time I spend at work. People NEED context. They also need a clear set of instructions. If the person meting out the tasks doesn't have a clue, they need to find out. In the end, it would save a ton of money.
Of course, then the majority of people working in Academia (not to mention the government) would be out of a job, because there wouldn't be anything for them to do.
¶ 3/21/2002 04:02:00 PM
The University is in the process of putting all its data into a new program. It's a great thing, really. All departments, from Accounting and Human Resources to the academic departments, etc., will be using the same program, which interconnects all data in every way possible. Lately, we've been working on the academic end of things. Curriculum and whatnot. The bare bones have been entered. There is a very set structure based on modules in different levels that we entered. Its really simple. I will allow that it's simple to me because it was presented in the context of how it was going to be entered. However, apparently it is NOT simple to someone who's been handed a print-out of absolutely everything that has been entered.
The print-outs were divided amongst several people with an intimate knowledge of the curriculum. So intimate, in fact, that the edits they made to the proofs were redundant and had information that, the way the structure of the new system is set up, will be entirely impossible to manipulate. Furthermore, by adding it where they did, it could be entered as something else entirely and cause endless issues for us later after it caused students to be unable to register for any courses at all. (Neat trick, that). Oh, and did I mention no one thought to make copies of the proofs? For the past two hours, I've used nearly an entire white-out pen going through and fixing these mistakes.
"So what is she getting at with all of this?" asks the reader impatiently. Well, Context. And Bureaucracies. I can bitch all I want (which I did plenty of), but it's not the fault of the people who edited the proofs. Someone handed them a set, and asked that they check it against the catalog. They didn't say, "By the way, notice how we've got it structured. It's going to be a bit different." Do you know why they didn't say that? Because they probably didn't know, either. I probably could have figured it out myself, even if I hadn't been one of the people to enter it in the first place. At least most of it. But again, being able to understand how entering the data in this way as opposed to any other will make the program go is not something that I expect from others. So, why is it that the people responsible for this VERY important information don't have a clue as to what they're actually doing or how it works? This is the problem with any sort of bureaucracy. Everyone is consistently doing unecessary work in order to make up for work that was done poorly the first (second, third...) time. If I could add up the amount of time I spend at my job correcting things that either I messed up because I wasn't given enough information to do it properly (or to even know that I wasn't doing it properly) or that others have flubbed up, it would be the majority of the time I spend at work. People NEED context. They also need a clear set of instructions. If the person meting out the tasks doesn't have a clue, they need to find out. In the end, it would save a ton of money.
Of course, then the majority of people working in Academia (not to mention the government) would be out of a job, because there wouldn't be anything for them to do.
¶ 3/21/2002 04:02:00 PM
The weather is starting to piss me off. Last week, it was seriously starting to get warm. But now... seriously, weather. There is no reason for the temperature to be dropping to 28 degrees in Mississippi in the middle of March. It's really getting to be time to shut the gas off. But will you let me? Of course not. As soon as I make the decision to do it, you're all with the getting _cold_ again.
¶ 3/21/2002 09:52:00 AM
3/20/2002
Oops. I stole two pens, from two different people, at different times of the day. And they are exactly the same. How neat.
¶ 3/20/2002 05:57:00 PM
Whoo Hoo! I have voice mail! My corporate office experience is now complete!
¶ 3/20/2002 11:03:00 AM
3/19/2002
Oh! I didn't mention that Paige has a flat-panel monitor. NICE.
¶ 3/19/2002 04:07:00 PM
I'm watching the desk for Paige. There's some blasted ATM thing that she does- basically taking out any deposits that were made and dropping them in an envelope and in the FedEx bin. She's basically "on-call" all the time to do this whenever something is put in the drop. So I'm stuck here taking appointments and answering the phone. And blogging.
Alicia should be here soon, too. She is supposed to come and meet me so we can go slum around in the union for a bit under the auspices of "doing something for work." This is always fab- we smoke lots of ciggarettes and get coffee and drag it out as long as possible.
PAIGE. ALICIA. WHERE ARE YOU? Dammit. Come back, Paige. Alicia, get your new Shakira-lookin-pants wearin ASS over here.
La la la la la.....
Oh, the joys of NOT being a receptionist. Students can be so obnoxious. I suppose it's good for me to mind the desk for a bit... just to inspire Job Appreciation. ¶ 3/19/2002 04:06:00 PM
Alicia should be here soon, too. She is supposed to come and meet me so we can go slum around in the union for a bit under the auspices of "doing something for work." This is always fab- we smoke lots of ciggarettes and get coffee and drag it out as long as possible.
PAIGE. ALICIA. WHERE ARE YOU? Dammit. Come back, Paige. Alicia, get your new Shakira-lookin-pants wearin ASS over here.
La la la la la.....
Oh, the joys of NOT being a receptionist. Students can be so obnoxious. I suppose it's good for me to mind the desk for a bit... just to inspire Job Appreciation. ¶ 3/19/2002 04:06:00 PM
Some dude made the elvator smell like curry, and then I overhead a sorority girl say, "I am a terrorist." What is the world coming to?
¶ 3/19/2002 02:34:00 PM
3/18/2002
Why, in the space of one month, does every conceivable medical issue have to slam into me all at once? I never, ever go to doctors. Until recently, that is. These days I should set up camp in the waiting room, so that when the next thing goes wrong, I'll already be there. So I got that tooth pulled, right? Well, now, just behind the large cavernous hole that used to house my 2nd molar, is a little pinched nub of Fiery Evil Pain. I don't know if my wisdom tooth is cutting there, or if its where the dentist shot me up with the novacaine. That needle was big, yo. Horribly big. And he jammed it in my gum and jiggled it around- up, down, sideways, the fucking cha-cha...it hurt alot. And it still does. A whole helluva lot.
¶ 3/18/2002 03:14:00 PM
OW. Fucking Ow.
¶ 3/18/2002 10:57:00 AM
