On a whim, I did a google search on "Neil Gaiman is a god." I am both thrilled and disappointed that it turned up 13 results. Glad there are some, but only 13? Good number, though.

And speaking of searches. Heh. You people out there who keep coming here looking for Sandra Bullock's nipples? STOP. I can't even count the number of times that's shown up on my referrals list. Ew. I also cannot fathom why so many people are looking for video game - Final Fantasy in particular - porn. Ryan even got one for "Chocobos Fucking." What's wrong with you? You sick, twisted _freak_.

And you who came looking for "mouse names." Yeah, my name is Mikkie. Fuck you. Punk.

Sigh...

I know we've only been back to work for two weeks since the holidays, but I'm really looking forward to the three-day weekend. I've been so burnt-out feeling lately. I fell asleep on the couch by 9:00 almost every night this week- and I haven't done diddly squat other than go to work and come home. Part of it, I think, is the ominous weather. Its either been freezing freaking cold or dreary and grey (or both, more often than not). And the short winter days mean that by the time I get home, it's already nearly dark.

My Mom called me the other night, and apparently she is going through the same thing. At least it isn't just me. Hopefully the weekend will help chase away these blues. A bunch of us are going out tomorrow night to the Yocona River Inn (my most favorite restaurant!) to celebrate in honor of my having had a birthday three weeks ago. Should be fun, assuming we get a table right away. They don't take reservations, and if you're waiting to be seated, you wait on the front porch. Might be a good idea to bring a blanket, just in case.

  ¶ 1/17/2003 05:11:00 PM

  Smoking a pipe is supposed to be one of those leisurely activities. We have a prof whose always sitting out on the balcony with his journals and the books he's reviewing, puffing away on his pipe. It suits- the eccentric old scholar smoking a pipe, right? Only today, due to the bite-your-ass cold, he's huddling in the corner, sniffling, shivering, and trying to "power smoke" on the pipe. I don't know why, but it's hilarious to me.

You can totally suck down a cigarrette in two minutes or less- get your nicotine fix and get the hell back inside. But a pipe? It doesn't really work that way.

I used to think I wanted to take up pipe-smoking. When I was in high school, before I ever started smoking as a habit. I just thought it would be cool, because you don't ever see girls smoking pipes. My high school German teacher, who was a riot, used to smoke a pipe. At the time, I thought it was incredibly feminist and subversive (remember, I was in high school). I never did even try it, though, partly because I really wouldn't know where to begin with one and partly because I simply don't have the patience.

  ¶ 1/17/2003 11:12:00 AM

  A glimpse into the mid-coffee, post work arrival dialogues through which I spend my mornings waking up:

sjberg13: Court said that she thinks you dont like yoo-hoo

Bus Mik: I don't

Bus Mik: Blech

sjberg13: dude! how can you not like yoo-hoo? thats downright un-american! you commie

Bus Mik:you are getting your arse whooped at Fantasy Hockey this week. Dude, its like chocolate water. Groooossss

sjberg13: yeah i know im getting whooped. by chuck, in a battle where the winner takes 1st place. it is not good

Bus Mik: Well, If Chuck can bring you down, and I can stay level with Chuck- it all works to bring me closer to tha TOP. Where I WILL BE AGAIN. ;-)

sjberg13: we will see, but its the playoffs that really count. and at the end of them i will be the one drinking yoo-hoo from the stanley cup

Bus Mik: Oh My God! You have just totally insulted the integrity of the Stanley Cup by even so much as implying putting yoohoo in it

sjberg13: no i havent. yoo hoo is one of the best inventions ever.

Bus Mik: It's chocolate and preservative flavored water. I cannot stress this enough.

sjberg13: yeah, its chocolate water, thats why its cool

sjberg13: and good!

Bus Mik: Just the idea of yoo-hoo makes me feel all unclean and like I need to brush my teeth

Bus Mik: and throw up

sjberg13: but its chock-full of rich, chocolatey goodness AND it's got 5 vitamins and 2 minerals and is 99% fat and caffeine free!

Bus Mik: Fat and Caffeine free? Fuck that!

Bus Mik: Speaking of caffeine!!'

sjberg13: and strawberry yoo-hoo is good too, but we know where that comes from

Bus Mik: They have caffeinated lipstick now

Bus Mik: DUDE DON"T GO THERE

sjberg13: lol

sjberg13: i think i may need to blog about yoo-hoo later

sjberg13: how do you get the caffeine? do you eat the lipstick? :-)

Bus Mik: well, yeah. I mean, you lick your lips

Bus Mik: I have been summoned to go do work (what's UP with that?)

sjberg13: weak

Bus Mik: So, i'll holla at you later. Have a good day

sjberg13: will do  ¶ 1/16/2003 11:28:00 AM

  There was no sushi for lunch for Mikkie. Sadly, the boy won't go within a mile of anything that even hints of possibly having come out of the sea, so we ate Chinese food instead. It was good.

What was NOT good, however, was that I have been reminded what it's like to live in a college town. Every December and every summer, the town empties to a managable level of population. And then every freaking January and September I am shocked and appalled at how many people are trying to drive in the same place at the same time. Today was that day. The one where I spend 10 minutes getting from the shopping center parking lot (where the restaurant is) to Bramlett Ave., a mere block down the street. Ten minutes! About seven of them were just trying to get out of the parking lot. And there are lights. Jeesh.

One of the good things about being a townie is that I do at least know all the backroads. But, as in this instance, it wasn't the weird way round that took all the time, but rather the damned one-block of main road.

I feel obligated to also go ahead and spit out a few disparaging remarks about the driving on campus. Just to get it out my system early on, you know.

Okay, 1. Don't hog an entire STREET with your gargantuan SUV. Special note to the guy who made me lose my parking space by breaking this rule- Sure you have a big penis, hon. Now get the FUCK out of my way.

2. Pedestrians should and do have the right-of-way. To cross the street. Not to play pretend-I'm-a-tree in the middle of the road. Pick a direction, and walk in it. Get on across and quit dawdling.

3a. If you live on campus, don't you DARE drive to class. There is no reason for the parade of cars with Stockard-Martin dorm stickers driving not away from, but TOWARDS the center of campus, at one o'clock of a Wednesday afternoon. I know where the student parking is on this campus and you aren't headed towards it. Nor is it a reasonable route to anywhere other than places where you aren't allowed to park.

3b. Cobra Security, where are you? On my long treks from random parking lots to office, I pass countless student vehicles parked in faculty/staff lots with no tickets. And yet, I get a ticket for parking in the correct parking lot with all the correct decals because you didn't even bother to LOOK at my car? I do not understand. Please ticket the offenders (not that it makes much difference) so that I will at least feel like something is at least semi- right with the world.

See? Now you can wait a whole nother semester before you have to deal with me bitching about it again. (I swear I didn't start this post out sounding this cracker. "A whole nother"? Blame it on the rage... and damn if I'm going back and fixing any of it.)  ¶ 1/15/2003 03:30:00 PM

  I want sushi.   ¶ 1/15/2003 12:29:00 PM

  Christ. How the hell did it get to be 4:00? I don't think I've done a single Important Thing since I came back from lunch today. Damn. Where does all the time go?  ¶ 1/13/2003 05:05:00 PM

  No, No, No.

Not Pete. The Who helped me get through High School. My friend Emily and I wrote fictional stories about the band based on song lyrics. I'm talking ludicrous stories here - like in "Baba O'Reilly" they all decide to leave home because their parents are too hard to deal with so they sell weed to make a living. When I was 13, that made perfect sense as a translation of that song.

But I listened to that music. And it made my life a little better for it. For me, I give him the benefit of the doubt. Because it's really just too disgusting to contemplate anyway. And I just hope no one proves me (or him) wrong.

  ¶ 1/13/2003 04:47:00 PM