My thoughts are with the family and friends of the astronauts aboard the space shuttle Columbia.

CNN keeps showing interview footage of the crew pre-flight, and the joy in their eyes in unmistakable. I can't decide whether that makes me feel better or worse.   ¶ 2/01/2003 12:17:00 PM

  Scholarship Update:

Don't send me six goddamned recommendation letters. TWO. We aren't being nice in case you only know two people who might vouch for you. And frankly, their only purpose is to verify that 1) you are the sort of person you claim to be on your application, and 2) you aren't crazy. I have enough envelopes to open as it is, thank you very much.   ¶ 1/31/2003 11:54:00 AM

  On a whim, thought I'd change things up a bit on the visual front. Less is more. Unless it's hot pink, and then more is more.

Uh... whatever.   ¶ 1/29/2003 04:56:00 PM

  I've been avoiding posting all day because I didn't want to talk about the State of the Union Address, and I really didn't have anything else to say. So now I'm talking about how I don't want to talk about it... eh.

I will say this though. I fell asleep at the end. The alternative was being taken over by a big flaming ball of anger and frustration, so I decided to just be bored and drift off instead. Anyone remember watching The State? Well, the last thing I remember thinking before I fell asleep was that if I heard you-know-who say "Nu-cu-lar" one more freaking time, I was going bust through the television and rip out his vocal cords. And I thought how I ought to get up off the couch and post that on the blog. Images of the special services guys crawling out of the walls and from behind the furniture from The State popped into my head, and then I thought maybe I ought NOT post that on the internet.

Of course, I just did. Damn. I'm not doing very well with sticking to a decision today.

Something fun - go play Mash. Remember, the fortune-telling game from when you in middle school?
My results (with which I'm perfectly alright with. As Alicia said, "Well. They don't _define_ shack."):

You will live in a Shack.
You will drive a Green 67 Stang.
You will marry Ryan and have 2 kids.
You will be a Personal Assistant to Neil Gaiman in NY  ¶ 1/29/2003 02:47:00 PM

  This is the time of year during which my work day is plagued by scholarship applications. I open. I sort. I read. I sort more. And I laugh a lot, in sad, demented and ironic sort of way.

The first thing that turns me off on an application is someone who touts their religious beliefs as grounds for a scholarship. This is a public university - read "Equal Opportunity." We don't care, or at least we aren't supposed to (but I betcha if someone wrote an essay talking about how much personal insight they've gained through pagan ritual, they'd be last in line for some free money). It would probably shock you how many high school seniors spend more time in their essays writing about moral values and the importance of a Christian background than...well, anything academic.

Writing skills are also important. Like... really important. A well written essay shows that you can formulate ideas and communicate them to others. This is key. These are scholarship applications... for a lot of money. Didn't your mama read over it and check for typos, at least? Don't you have spellcheck on your computer anyway? And don't you know the difference between "there," "their," and "they're"? No one is perfect, but for something this important, check your work before you mail it in.

The same standards apply to recommendation letters. I have one application (probably the best yet) where the student is absolutely outstanding. Perfect essays. Excellent test scores. Actual meaningful involvement, rather than a bunch of fluff. And yet. There's always an "An yet."

The one recommendation letter is the biggest pile of garbage I have ever seen. The recommender has no concept whatsoever of the English language (and yes, it was from a teacher). Said recommender also states that the applicant "strives to be more Christlike..." which 1) is entirely inappropriate; and 2) cannot be true, since this is the BUSINESS SCHOOL and I doubt very seriously that Jesus would have been into the whole capitalism thing.

I swear. No wonder we get such crap from the students - look at what their teachers and role models are writing.   ¶ 1/27/2003 03:14:00 PM

  This morning, I'm going to bake a Blueberry Apple Pie. And I'm going to roll out all of the maudlin, woe-is-me, wintry angst I have and put it right into that pie. And when it comes out of the oven, it will be something else entirely.

Cooking can be so therapuetic for me, when I have a mind to make it that way. When I'm cooking because I'm hungry, I haven't got the patience for it. But cooking just to cook? Now that's fun. Last night, Ryan and I went to the store and it hit me. Pie. I must make pie. I needed to pick up some shortening, and on the way to that aisle we passed a freezer bin with Pillsbury ready-made dough in it. Ryan wondered why I didn't just use that. It's good, right? Well, yes. It's quite good. And when I make pie because I'm in the mood to eat pie, I'll often use it. But I told him that I needed to make pie. I needed the work of it. I needed to create something.

Sometimes when I say things like that, I know Ryan is humoring me when he nods and says "okay." I could tell that wasn't the case. I appreciate that, and I guess that's one of the reasons I love the boy. He let's me be my weird, neuotic, pie-making self.   ¶ 1/26/2003 10:54:00 AM